I was 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant with Milo when I went to acupuncture on Thursday night. I had been going weekly since getting pregnant and it helped so much with back pain, pelvic pressure and stress. PS- if you’re looking for someone, I see gabby at Wthn! Gabby knew I was getting close to my date so we started working on some points that would encourage downward motions and I am 99% sure that is what put me in labor! I was feeling a bit weird and like he might be coming that weekend—I just had a strange hunch. And so did Lola, my french bulldog apparently, because she had been following me around for days and woke us up with such crazy excitement that next morning which she NEVER does.

I always joked that I would go into labor while working out at Tracy Anderson—and get this—that’s actually what happened.

I did my regular class the next morning, Intermediate followed by 30 minutes of cardio and at the end of class realized it wasn’t sweat dripping down my leg. I thought it could be my water breaking but I did not have a big “Hollywood moment” if you know what I mean. When I got home I called my midwives and they confirmed it was probably some water, not all of it, obviously. Since I wasn’t in labor or having contractions, they told us we should plan to head to the hospital at the latest the next morning, if things didn’t pick up. I spent the entire day cleaning and organizing the apartment—he was 2 weeks early after all and his room was an office, complete with a desk and a crib that was half finished. We set up the Nanit camera and I went to Juice Press to stock up on snacks for the night and for the hospital. We also washed all of his clothes and folded them in the dresser/changing table and I finalized my hospital bag.

How did I get the contractions going, you ask? Here’s everything I did that afternoon until 5am the next morning—no joke. I curb walked to Juice Press and back. Some say this can help move the baby down into the pelvis to encourage labor. The midwives suggested we hang out at home that afternoon until contractions started, relax and try to sleep. I went to get my nails done around 7pm, we ordered dinner, opened a bottle of wine and I tried to get as much sleep as possible.

Before going to bed, I grabbed the castor oil. Yes that’s right baby, castor oil. My midwives advised me that once I took it, things were going to get intense. Castor oil can often get contractions going if they’re not starting on their own. It also helps move basically anything in your body out of the way to make room for babe. Prepping for the worst around 9pm, I added 2 tsp into a blender with ice and pineapple juice (thanks google) to kill the taste and downed it. Actually, it wasn’t even that bad! Then I went to bed expecting to be on the toilet in a few hours (per the midwives advice) and waited. Absolutely nothing happened, HA!

By 2AM, still nothing. I was slightly panicking. I knew that if I didn’t start going to labor on my own I would be heading to the hospital next day to be induced medically, which I was trying to avoid at all costs. I called Christina, my midwife and told her what was going on and she advised me to drink more castor oil—apparently I was supposed to drink 2oz not 2tsp, OOPS, aka a shot glass full of this stuff. So I went back to the kitchen poured myself a cocktail of blue Gatorade zero & Castor Oil and downed it. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. Let me tell you, I will NEVER be drinking blue Gatorade again. Ever. I’ll try not to get too graphic for the next part but I guess if you’re here and you’ve made it this far, you’re cool with graphic details.

I immediately started shaking uncontrollably. Teeth chattering, shivering, the works. Could not walk shaking. Other than that, I did go to the bathroom (nothing crazy) but that was it. I woke up at 3 AM expecting to be on the toilet and nothing. Woke up at 4 AM and felt nothing. I needed to sleep but I was so damn anxious I had to get up and move this kid down. I went to the stairs in my building and did curb walking up and down and about a million lunges everywhere. Then around 5AM I went back to bed hoping something would start. I listened to YouTube meditations to induce labor, thank you Tiktok. Around 5:30 I started throwing up (cool) and was also shaking like crazy. I woke up my husband—completely unnecessary of course but just wanted some moral support.

Then I woke up at 7am and FINALLY had 2 back to back contractions. My husband timed them to make sure they were legit and they both lasted exactly a minute and were 2 minutes apart. This was it! They kept coming at that pace for the next 15 min and we called Christina and my doula. We tracked them until 9AM and the plan was to go in to hospital at some point that day. I wanted to eat something that I’d be ok throwing up incase it happened again so we walked to the deli to get saltines and then walked to Starbucks. I was having contractions on this walk every 2 minutes or so which is about every NYC block—a really cute look for a Saturday morning in the West Village let me tell you. When we got back to the apartment, we decided it would be a good time for our doula Claudia to come over. When she arrived, we did everything we could to both get the baby in the best position for birth and to get his head low enough to speed things along. We did the Miles Circuit, side lying release, hip circles and this wild tuck motion during contractions to get his head into my pelvis. That was beyond intense but I could definitely feel it making progress. 

I know you’re probably thinking, wasn’t the pain SO BAD? So here is my answer. It was intense, no doubt, but not painful. For the months leading up to this moment, I trained. I trained for this day like a marathon and really felt like I was completely prepared mentally and physically. I took a virtual Hypnobirthing course with Alisha Tamburri in Los Angeles that helped me so much in the moment. I would listen to the tracks everyday to prep— I had no idea if it would help on the actual day, but I used the techniques during contractions and it worked so well for me.

I also read the Hypnobirthing book which I would recommend to everyone who’s having a baby, even if you plan to get an epidural. It really changed my perspective to think about physical pain in a different way. It helped me understand that the intensity from labor is there for a reason, it’s there to help move the baby out of your body. This isn’t the same pain as a pain from a paper cut: it has a purpose and it’s only temporary. 

Because here’s the thing—the intensity ONLY lasts for a minute. Then you have a minute to chill, do whatever. In between I was completely myself, joking, laughing, talking etc. That was one of the most surprising things about labor. The other crazy thing that surprised me was that I felt the contractions down my hips and into the top of my legs at my hip flexors. So the intensity began in my lower abs and went down my legs—wild.

Back to the story: we decided that walking would do some good, so we did curb walking down to Brodo to grab some broth and gazpacho—which funny enough was the first thing I ate post birth. My doula said she has never seen anyone eat gazpacho after having a baby, HA! I was having contractions every 2 minutes at that point, stopping on every street corner probably looking like a psychopath. When we got home we called Christina around 3pm and we agreed we should plan to head to the hospital soon.

Things definitely picked up but everything was still consistent around 4pm. In the last hour before we left, my doula tied a scarf around my waist and put a wooden spoon through the knot, so during a contraction I could twist the spoon and the scarf would tighten around my hips. That was such a great help! If you’re having a baby soon, try it!

I made a smoothie, finished packing up my bag and took some final bump pics! My husband and I went into the baby’s room and took one last look around and hugged each other. I put on some Charlotte Tilbury highlighter, waterproof mascara (more on that later) and we called an Uber to Mt Sinai West!

 There was of course so much traffic on the ride uptown—we passed cops and I seriously considered asking them for an escorted ride. I was uncomfortable but definitely not crazy in pain. We finally got to Triage & Christina checked me around 5:45PM and I was about 4cm dilated and almost 100% effaced—I was 50% effaced and one cm dilated 2 days earlier so that was some improvement. Apparently I still had a big bag of water in there and she told us we had two options: stay and labor or go home and wait it out. I decided I was not leaving the hospital without that baby. We were admitted to the room around 6:30PM and I continued to labor there.

I was adamant about not having an IV because I wanted to be able to freely move around during labor and delivery, but agreed to having a hep block (just a port where if they had to get fluid in, they could do it easily in the moment). We had this horrible nurse who put my IV in and I was actually complaining that it hurt so badly, because it did! Everyone was joking that I was fully having contractions every minute and that I was complaining about an IV! Thank god they switched shifts at 7PM because the most wonderful gal came in to replace her.

At this point, my husband put on my Conrad compression socks—I heard that you can get quite swollen during birth—I didn’t feel this but good to be prepared! I laid in bed and took a little rest while still contracting regularly. We were waiting for my covid test to come back so I could gain access to use nitrous oxide if needed for pain relief. I listened to my Hypnobirthing tracks and continued to have plenty of fluids and even some snacks. We had a cooler packed with baby carrots, Gatorade, hummus, Juice Press goods, Ella’s flats and coconut water.

During contractions I kept reminding myself that a relaxed jaw and a relaxed pelvis would eventually lead to a relaxed baby—according to the Hyprnobirthing book. And man did that work for me. While waiting for the nitrous, I labored while sitting on the ball and walking around the room. At 9:30 PM things were picking up and my midwife recommended she check me and see where we were. I was 5cm and she told us she could feel the head really low. When she broke my water with a small pick, I was nervous but I felt nothing except a giant massive gush of water down my legs and lower half. It was totally gross and wasn’t just all water. It was so much that I thought a nice shower would help. I brought body wash (Elemis travel sized soap if you’re wondering) with me into the shower thinking I would use it.

In the shower, I used the hand shower to get the pressure of the water right on my stomach, which my doula recommended. All the contractions were centered in my lower stomach, just below belly button and down the front part of my leg in my hip flexor area. The shower was helpful but it got so crazy intense when I was in there. I put my leg up on the tub and remember looking down and wanting to lie down in there, but knew I had to keep standing and keep going. I was swaying my hips and my vocals changed. I came out of the shower and that was when it got insane. INSANE.

Apparently at some point before this I asked for broth (zero recollection) so they ordered ramen and got me a veggie one. The second I walked back into the room I smelled it I started vomiting—all over my husband. I remember sitting up in the bed and 3 people were holding bags in front of me to catch it. I labored on my side and my doula squeezed my hips with every single contraction. I kept watching the screen while I was being monitored to see when they started coming which was fast. I kept reminding myself to breathe in for 10 and out for 10. My husband held my stomach and told me to breathe into him. I had to go into the intensity. 

The mantra I kept saying to my self the whole day really came in handy at that moment. “The only way out is through,” I kept repeating to myself over and over again and my doula kept saying to me. “You’re so strong. You got this.”

At 10:30PM I got on my left side and requested that my husband put on the Hamilton album (YES, THE HAMILTON ALBUM) because I needed something to focus on—something that I knew all the words to and could just zone out while listening to. If you know me, this is very me ha.

This was the most intense damn feeling I have ever felt in my life. Ever. I can’t say it was an out of body experience because I was totally there. I remember squeezing my doula’s hands. I then had to go to the bathroom because I felt this insane urge to pee, poop and throw up all at the same time and thought the bathroom would be a good place to do it. I sat on the toilet and my doula said that I started to make some wild noises that resembled grunting. I kept saying to her—I know that this sounds like I have to push but I’m not there yet, I promise. I think I was still in denial that he could be coming THAT soon. Like I knew better! At this point, the team was like ok cool, you do you, and behind my back prepped the baby warmed for Milo. HA! I could not sit down anymore and went to the bed. I started absolutely grunting and making wild noises—which I only remembered thanks to husband’s recount!

I was standing at the edge of the bed and around 11:10 and they decided to see where I was at. My midwife put her finger literally ONE inch inside me and said well that’s the head! So I obviously felt too and I was like OH MY GOD. Literally an inch and a half up was this squish ball. Literally right. There. I instinctively just started moving swaying and leaning over the bed to bear down. My midwife kept saying, listen to your body and kept telling me to do what felt right. It was so empowering to feel completely in control of labor and pushing, without anyone directing me. Just me and my body doing what felt right.

I don’t remember this but my doula told me at 11:20 I took my hair down and gave it a flip. So. On. Brand. And that’s the thing about labor: in between the intense minute contractions, you’re completely yourself, even a few minutes before pushing a whole human out. I was asking for my coconut water, adjusting my gown, using my fan, chatting and laughing and humming along to Hamilton.

Let’s take a sec to remember that I am still standing up at the edge of the bed here, k?

I remember looking up at the clock at 11:25PM and saying he’s coming on the 23rd! I can’t believe it! So fast! I thought it would have been at least another few hours. My midwife reminded me that I was so close but had a minute or two to go. My midwife and nurse were squatting behind me ready to catch Milo. I was totally unaware of everything going on behind me, I just kept grabbing my doulas hands in front of me on the bed. I felt the head try and come out and said, is that the head? I made my husband look and he was like, YEP, the head! He didn’t know the gender and was so excited to find out and finally meet the baby!

Since I could feel everything, I intentionally went very slowly to start to stretch everything down there and thankfully I didn’t tear it one bit. Then my body just took over. I didn’t intentionally push after that moment, my body just did what it wanted to do. I totally went inward and the entire 8 minutes was so freaking primal and just unreal. At 11:35, his entire body LEGIT fell out of me with a massive whoosh of fluid. I looked down and they weaved Milo through my legs and up into my arms! I was so in shock! He started crying, I started crying. His cord was still inside me and I pulled him into my chest as they rubbed his feet. My husband threw up his arms and said he knew it was a boy!

The next hour was such a blissful blur. Milo laid on my chest and his eyes were open the entire time. I just kept stroking his hair and smiling at him. He had a hat on and smelled so wonderful. He stayed on my chest while they did his shots and tests and I birthed my placenta. It was freaking massive. They sealed it up and got it ready to be picked up the next day! More on that later.

My doula encouraged me to eat and kept handing me food which was the best. I ate a huge bag of dried mango from Juice Press and Gazpacho from Brodo and we headed up to our room.

The nurse dropped us off in the room and explained to us some ground rules. “Here are some diapers and bottles. Make sure you wake him up every 3 hours to feed him. Goodnight!” And closed the door on her way out. We literally looked at each other like. 

“What. The. Fuck.”

And the journey begins…

I hope this story inspires you and gives you a fresh perspective on the birthing process. Too often, we hear only the negative side of labor and birth and made a point during my pregnancy to read positive birth stories. I hope this can be one for you. I am beyond thankful for my team, Central Park Midwifery and my doula Claudia of Brooklyn Birth Collective. 

PS: Here’s me and Milo retelling it all!